You'll Be Mrs. Dikshit-Spitzfarger And Like It!
A link from Jezebel about how most people think that women should change their name when they get married.
Maintaining my last name is not a radical act of feminism! It is not even a minor act of feminism. It is not even an action; it is a lack of action. But I am going to have to spend the rest of my life explaining that yes, we are married, and yes, we do have different last names.
There is the obvious school of thought that argues that women should not change their name when they get married because they should not subsume their identity into being the “Wife of Joe Shithead.” That is a valid reason not to change your name. But, I also understand being all mushy and in love, while still being an Independent Woman Part 1, and believing that marriage should fuse the identities of the people involved.
I don’t have a reason why I don’t want to change my last name. I am not even that attached to my last name. My last name does not have a proud family heritage; it does not maintain some ties to my family’s past. I am a Jew with the last name Arnold. Two generations ago in Chicago, my family all changed their last names from Cohen (a name given to them at Ellis Island because Americans can’t pronounce Chunyichoff) to Arnold to hide the fact that they were Jewish.
I am not going to change my name because it is my name. It would be weird to change my name. My parents had a naming ceremony for me (like a bris for girls, without the sharp object and bloody genitalia) when I was drooling pile of baby, where they gave me the name that I have had ever since. I have not ever really had a nick name. The idea of changing my name is infinitely bizarre to me.
I don’t think men (or even a lot of women) have ever really thought about how weird it is that when women get married it is assumed that she will change her last name. Really, all you out there with an XY set of chromosomes. Think about the idea of all of suddenly changing your last name. It is weird.
That being said, if I was with Matthew instead of Mike, I would probably have become Rachel M. Perpetua after our first date.
